All those self-help books say just to let the guilt go. You feel guilty and there is no reason why? Just let it go! You apologize too much? Stop doing that! You wake up at 2 in the morning filled with dread that your children will grow up to hate you? Don’t! Don’t feel guilty, don’t apologize, don’t worry. And then I feel guilty for feeling guilty, apologizing, and worrying.
Also? I always try to spell apologize with two ps. And I feel weirdly guilty about that.
Post with 2 notes
I think that is part of why I love being a librarian and make a good one. I’m really good at the beginning of a conversation! And if I have a specific topic then I can keep my end up! So some child comes up to me and needs books! I can help! I can get books and explain why these books and where these books and how these books. Woo! And then (here’s the really great part) child takes the books off to read them! And I am not stuck with the conversation that I cannot be in because I don’t know how to have a conversation!
(note: I am 28 AND A FUCKING HALF! HOW DID I GET TO BE THIS OLD AND NOT KNOW HOW TO HAVE A CONVERSATION?)
Last night I read a post about how awful it is that everyone nowadays is describing themselves as awkward. “Awkward is the new random” was one phrase they used. And they were especially upset when people who are neurotypical call themselves awkward. So … just because I’m not autistic I can’t be awkward? I almost feel like tumblr encourages these kinds of feelings because people who are awkward irl tend to gravitate to tumblr so mabe there is a larger concentration of awkard people on tumblr then “in real life”?
I’m about as awkward as it gets. I can be at a party of people I love and people who love me and all I can think of is where can I hide? The moment someone starts a conversation with me I start thinking of ways to get out ofthe conversation. They’re only conversing with me because of need and don’t really want to chat. I’m only at this party because I couldn’t NOT be invited. Nobody really WANTS me there. I really should find some way out of this conversation before I do something awful and everybody REALIZES how much I don’t belong here.
So I started writing this post in my head and the more I thought about it the more I just wanted to cry because of how despertaely awkward I am. So poor husband* had to take care of me after he was already snug in bed and half asleep because I had to have a breakdown.
*I need good new nicknames for everyone for over here. “Husband” “elder child” “younger child” Bleh.
Part of the rant that got deleted was non ranty but instead explainey.
I think I’m in the middle of a neurotic breakdown. And typing it all out and posting it for the world to see tends to help. BUT if I do that on my regular tumblr then I get a phone call from my mom about how not to be neurotic. And that isn’t helpful. It is, in fact, the opposite of helpful.
Quote reblogged from Fuck yeah, feminists! with 3,038 notes
Let me put it to you this way. Rape culture is a culture in which people who have survived a violent crime are asked to laugh about it because other people think it’s funny.
(via moonlitstreets)
!!! I had an argument with husband’s friend (note to self: need new nickname for HIM too) last night and I WON! Ish?
“Ok, I will never joke about rape in front of you ever again.”
Better than nothing? Probably another reason for my breakdown last night.
Source: moonlitstreets
The one that I cried as I wrote!
BUT! PLUS SIDE! Nobody had seen it yet, I don’t think, and I still have FEELINGS so typing it up again with added FEELINGS is not a bad thing, right?
I don’t know what’s up here. It’s all old. I need to redo it. I know. WHATEVER. Shut up. I’ll get to it.
Ugh - as IF! I’d never follow that SLATTERN! Stealing my schtick!
(tumblrbot.tumblr.com is hardly real?)
This article made my little Millenial Librarian heart smile!
(now back to furiously weeding the J FIC and Reader collections)
Source: lisnews.org
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