Books YARRR

21st March 2011

Post with 2 notes

Last night I read a post about how awful it is that everyone nowadays is describing themselves as awkward.  “Awkward is the new random” was one phrase they used.  And they were especially upset when people who are neurotypical call themselves awkward.  So … just because I’m not autistic I can’t be awkward?  I almost feel like tumblr encourages these kinds of feelings because people who are awkward irl tend to gravitate to tumblr so mabe there is a larger concentration of awkard people on tumblr then “in real life”? 

I’m about as awkward as it gets.  I can be at a party of people I love and people who love me and all I can think of is where can I hide?  The moment someone starts a conversation with me I start thinking of ways to get out ofthe conversation.  They’re only conversing with me because of need and don’t really want to chat.  I’m only at this party because I couldn’t NOT be invited.  Nobody really WANTS me there.  I really should find some way out of this conversation before I do something awful and everybody REALIZES how much I don’t belong here.

So I started writing this post in my head and the more I thought about it the more I just wanted to cry because of how despertaely awkward I am.  So poor husband* had to take care of me after he was already snug in bed and half asleep because I had to have a breakdown.

*I need good new nicknames for everyone for over here.  “Husband” “elder child” “younger child” Bleh.